I cannot remember the first time I wore female clothes. I know I was young, a teenager going through the mind field of puberty. I remember reading a story in an adult magazine (yes i read the stories) and it talked about a woman working in a shop window and a man noticing her pubic hair sticking through a rip in her jeans. One thing led to another and they had sex. I remember being turned on by the thought of this woman’s body and pubic hair. At the time I thought it was the normal way to feel but when I came to explore myself i did not picture the woman I tried to imitate her. I put on some knickers and a dress. I was lucky that I had an older sister and I raided her skirts but it was my mothers knickers that I went for as they were nicer, more like what I imagined the woman in the story would have worn. I put the clothes on and I remember feeling excited as the crush black velvet skirt touched my bare legs. The excitement was amazing and I became very aroused. I loved the feeling right up until I came and then I found myself disgusted but what I was wearing. I assumed this was normal. I took the clothes off making sure that I had not stained them and returned them to their place. I told myself thats what all boys do but somewhere deep down inside of me I knew that was not true. I made sure that I did not tell anybody and that was how my journey started. It was a journey that has lasted until now and will continue. I hope to use this blog to write about my experiences and to express the journey that I have been on. A journey that has resulted in self loathing and finally acceptance.